Did you wear any of these banned-by-popular-demand disasters?
If fashion is cyclical, then we are absolutely petrified by the possible return of these terrible fashion trends. From leg warmers to Juicy Couture, baby doll dresses to futuristic looks, these articles of clothing deserve to be roasted on a spit over the coals of their iniquities. A bit dramatic, much? We think not, especially considering that “popcorn” shirts and dogs-in-a-bag were once fads. Experimental designers, gullible tweens, and trend-setting celebrities everywhere have all fallen prey to these horrendous fashion styles. We hope these trends never come back, and if they do — may God have mercy on us all.
T-Shirt, Over a Shirt
Why on earth would you layer a t shirt over a long sleeved shirt? If it’s for the sake of warmth, we can understand, but if it’s because you think it’s an appropriate look for public, the door’s to your left. Geeky is a cool trend, which is making a comeback thanks to Comic-Con and nerd celebs, but layered shirts are just a crime against humanity.
Chunky Chokers
In the Victorian era, chokers were associated with the wealthy, whereas in the 1860s they were worn by prostitutes. Today, chokers are trending amongst the tween and teen crowd. While a slim choker looks pretty edgy, uber chunky chokers are just a blitzkrieg on the eyes. Are you a cat, a dog… or something from a Dakota Johnson film? We’re not sure and we don’t want to find out.
Corsets
Corsets became popular in sixteenth-century Europe, especially during the Victorian era. Worn as an undergarment, they were used to change the appearance of a woman’s body. The corset pinched in the waist in order to create the so desired hourglass figure. Corsets are still used today, marketed by the likes of the Kardashians, as curves are once again desirable by our whimsical society. Unfortunately, corsets can cause bruised ribs and restricted breathing because of their tight design.
Platform Sneakers
Sneakers? Cool. Platform shoes? Cool. Platform shoes and sneakers combined into the fashion abomination that was platform sneakers? Suffice to say, not cool.
One-Sleeved Shirts
Oh boy. This fashion trend is the ultimate antithesis to everything that makes sense in this world. What? Why? The off shoulder, one-sleeved shirt is starting to make a comeback. Nope, we gotta shut it down before it’s too late.
Popcorn Shirts
Oh dear god, no. The popcorn shirt, origami shirt, crinkle shirt… whatever you want to call them, is perhaps the most hideous creation to plague this planet. These stretchy fabric amalgamations were popular in the late ‘90s and early 2000s. Bless the heavens, they have disappeared from most, if not all, clothing stores.
Futuristic Fashion
We’re not sure what designers are on these days, but whatever it is, it must give them prophetic vision. Models these days are strutting down the catwalk in “the future” look. However, we have a feeling that our future generations will do everything they can to de-associate themselves with our present day trends. Futurism was a modernist movement in 1909 that influenced poetry, music, photography, film, drama, and even politics. While futurism is fine in a novel or on a canvas, it should stay clear of the human body. We exist in the present. Let’s keep it that way.
Poodle Skirts
Poodle skirts are distinguished by their felt texture, solid colors, and wide swing design. The picture that usually was transferred onto the skirt was a coiffed poodle. Ugh, just hideous. Poodles are beautiful animals but they should remain 3D. The skirt originated in the United States in the 1950s, having been designed by Juli Lynne Charlot. Simple and easy to make, these skirts were made at home and also worn by movie stars in magazines.
Skinny Scarves
Scarves, by definition, are supposed to be heavy and protective against the cold. So, why exactly were skinny scarves that don’t look like they’re fit for temperatures below 70 degrees ever a fashion trend again?
